Dom Joly is a former diplomat turned TV producer and comedian best known as the star of Trigger Happy TV, a hidden-camera television series that was sold to more than 80 countries. His travel shows include Dom Joly’s Happy Hour and Dom Joly’s Excellent Adventure and his travel books include The Dark Tourist and Scary Monsters and Super Creeps. For his latest, The Conspiracy Tourist, he travelled the world hanging out with conspiracy theorists. Joly, 56, appeared on I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! in 2010, Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls in 2016 and Celebrity Hunted in 2018. He lives in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, with his wife, Stacey, and two children.
I don’t have a wallet any more. I’ve got £33 on me because I had some dollars and was walking past a bureau de change so thought I’d get rid of it. I use cash occasionally and think paying electronically is too easy. There’s something about handing over hard cash that makes me think: “Wow, I’m spending money.” Because I do a lot of travel I’m like one of those bars in Nepal where everyone leaves a smallest denomination note. I’ve got money from pretty much everywhere in a drawer somewhere.
What credit cards do you use?
I use an Amex and a card that doesn’t charge commission when I’m abroad. The debit card is the main thing I use. I havea Platinum Amex because, even though it costs a lot, if you use all its benefits it can work very well for you; for air miles and things like free meals twice a year in your favourite restaurants, random giveaways or free travel insurance.
What was your first job?
My first job was at 17 in a tiny newspaper stall outside Holland Park Tube station selling the Evening Standard. The guy that ran it had a little phone I used to try to get jobs. I’d sell papers while taking calls and pretend to put myself through to someone to sound a bit more of a catch, rather than saying: “I’m on a newspaper stall.”
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Are you a saver or a spender?
Total and utter spender. I do ridiculous impulse buys. In 2016 I bought a hot-air balloon on spec. Someone came into my kitchen who was selling their hot-air balloon because they’d had a heart attack. I decided to take up hot air-ballooning. I tweeted: “I just bought a hot air balloon. What now?” It turned out that a world champion hot-air balloonist lived 20 miles away and he agreed to teach me to fly. In 2003 I bought a biplane on the spur of the moment. I never flew it. It sat in the garden for a long time and then I sold it.
Are you better off than your parents?
I have been. I’m very much feast or famine. My parents were very different from me, they never gave me any advice on money, which I really regret. My dad was into stocks and shares and ran his own family company as a shipping agent in Lebanon. My sister now runs it. I think my dad decided very early on that I wasn’t the person best suited to it. The only advice he ever gave me was “neither a borrower nor a lender be” and I’ve been both, quite a lot.
When did you first feel wealthy?
When I got my first money from Trigger Happy TV in 2003, I walked into a BMW showroom in Holland Park and bought a brand new motor. All my friends got in the car with me — that was an amazing moment because I’d had nothing till then. I’d been a student and done a lot of jobs for not a lot of money. Also the moment I bought my first flat in 1992 for £110,000 in Notting Hill, then bought the flat below in 2001 for £220,000. I put them together and sold it in 2005 to Salman Rushdie for £1.3 million.
Have you ever struggled to make ends meet?
Very much so. I worry about money in the future because I always live for now. Something has always come along but you start thinking maybe it won’t. I remember having my card taken by the bank machine in 2007 because I had no money in the account.
What’s been your most lucrative work?
When I started Trigger Happy TV, the DVD sales were massive and the money I was paid per programme was huge. I’ve made more than £1 million from it altogether — it’s the gift that keeps on giving. I’m going to do a 25th anniversary tour next year. Trigger Happy opened all the doors for me. Now mainly it is touring and merchandising; I write travel books, get an advance which allows me to travel and write more books. When I do a tour I talk about the adventures in my books. I have many revenue streams such as corporate gigs, after-dinner speaking and radio, which you’ve got to do to keep things juggling.
The best-paid ad I’ve ever done was for a telecommunications company. After nine holes at the Sunningdale Golf Club the CEO — it was all very James Bond; we smoked cigars, and I don’t smoke cigars — said: “I want you to put our company on the map with three very funny ads.” I said fine. It was an insane six-figure amount of money, they were happy with them and we were high-fiving in the pub. The next day I got a message saying his company had just been bought by a massive company that didn’t need the ads but that they’d pay me anyway. So the ads never went out and it paid for most of my kids’ education.
Do you own a property?
Yes. As well as my home in Cheltenham, when I sold my house to Rushdie, I bought another one in Notting Hill and still have that. I’ve always done well with property because I’ve tended to move to areas other people haven’t thought about. Notting Hill is a good example. When I moved into All Saints Road it was called “the front line”. There was a shooting the day after I moved in. It was a really dodgy area. But then the film Notting Hill came out and it all went crazy. Artists used to go to cheap places that were aesthetically pleasing. Chelsea used to be like that. What happens now is CCTV cameras start going up and the whole place gets gentrified and you want to move out because you’re surrounded by people who work in merchant banks.
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Do you invest in shares?
No. I don’t know anything about it.
What’s your money weakness?
I’m obsessed with furniture and buy way too much, like 1940s Danish chairs. And art. I buy things that tickle me, but my wife constantly complains the walls are getting clogged.
What if you won the lottery?
I hate those people that either win the lottery and don’t change their life or win the lottery and go to rack and ruin. I’d be the happiest lottery winner in the world and know the secret to happiness: live in four different places — a big city house, an English country house, a random house somewhere and a winter house in Zermatt. The royal family have it right, move on the seasons. I’d help people I know who’ve had bad luck in their life, and I’d do it anonymously. I hate overt signs of wealth. Whenever I get a car, like my top-of-the-range BMW, I take all the badges off.
Have you gambled?
In 2005 I was drunk in Las Vegas when filming and took $2,000 to a casino and played blackjack and came out with $10,000. On the way out I chucked it all on black on the roulette and left the casino with $22,000. I spent it on a diamond necklace for my wife and thought: “She’s going to think what did he get up to in Vegas?”
How much did you earn last year?
That’s between me and the taxman.
What is better for retirement, property or pension?
Property. I have no pension. I don’t trust pensions, financial institutions or the City. I’m a visual person. I can’t feel that tenuous financial things really exist except on a computer.
What was your most extravagant purchase?
The hot-air balloon’s quite up there.
What lesson have you learnt about money?
When you’re doing a show like Trigger Happy TV everyone had to sign a consent form afterwards. And we developed a good technique for doing it. If my runners shook their heads to say someone didn’t want to be in it, they’d open a clipboard with three pages. One had £50 cash, the next £100, and £300 was the most we’d pay to get someone to sign. Most would sign for nothing, but if we really wanted someone, we’d encourage them with £50. If they still said no we’d turn over the page and up the bid. So if anyone reading this was in a Trigger Happy sketch and got £300 cash, then well done. You were the top negotiator.
What has been your worst business decision?
To stop making Trigger Happy TV. I made two series of it, two Christmas specials then said that’s it, I’ve done that, I’m now going to move on to the BBC. In hindsight if I could give anyone business or career advice, the one thing I’ve learnt is never make any sort of massive career or business decision when you’ve just finished doing a project. Because when you’ve just finished something you’re wiped out, completely sick of it and want to move on. Whatever you’ve finished doing, whether an album or whatever it is in business, take a break — a month, six weeks, chill out, do something different. Then come back to it fresh. I didn’t realise quite how much a golden goose Trigger Happy TV was and how much I loved making it. While I love writing my books, I would’ve been smart to say I’ll give you a new series of Trigger Happy TV every five years.
And your best business decision?
I’ve never made a good business decision. I’m a terrible businessman. For my show World Shut Your Mouth I persuaded the BBC to fly me and a camera crew to all seven wonders of the world. I’d stand in front of each until someone came up and looked at it with me and after a long pause I’d go, “That is shit.” I remember taking it back to the head of BBC1 and saw him thinking, “We’ve flown this idiot all the way around the world just to do that.” It opened every episode … I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever done.
The Conspiracy Tourist: Travels Through a Strange World by Dom Joly is available from the Times Bookshop. Dom Joly: The Conspiracy Tour will be at theatres around the UK from September 20. domjoly.tv/dom-joly-tour/